Distance
by MaxximumRide666
Summary: Relationships aren't easy at the best of times, but long distance ones are so much harder. And is it even worth it? Lilly's not always sure, but then she just has to think about Miley again and she knows it is. So she keeps on fighting. Oneshot...probably


**Author Note: Long time no write, i know! Sorry about that!! Been pretty caught up with finishing school, passing my driving test (at bloody last!), getting a car (it's pretty and shiney XD), breaking up with someone, falling in love but not being able to be with her.... and that's pretty much where this fic came from!! It was seriously getting to me, not being able to be with her and all, and i needed to vent. So after reading some stuff that the awesome Lord Jellyfish sent me (which was really what pushed me over the edge and made me do summat about it all 'cos his stuff was so damn depressing!! In the sense that it was sad as well as in the sense that it was so bloody brilliant i wanted to slap him for being so good!!), i sat down and just typed.  
And this is what i ended up with =)**

**I decided to make it a Liley, 'cos it seemed the most obvious!! But it's Lilly speaking, just thought i'd say 'cos i don't mention names lol**

**Anyway, a massive thank you to my beta and bestest mate in the whole world, Lord Jellyfish!! You rock, dude and i owe you a lot =)**

**So, on with the show!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hannah Montana or any of the characters (i just wish i did!!)**

**Distance**

It's all so easy when you're younger.

All so simple.

There are rules to follow, laws to obey, people to tell you what to do… you hate it then. Hate being controlled, being told what to do. All you want is freedom.

To be able to say what you want, think what you want, do what you want…

But when you finally get it, it isn't all it's cracked up to be.

There are still rules, still laws, but they aren't so clear anymore.

It's not all just black and white, good and bad.

There's grey now too. Those areas in between, where no one's really sure where they stand or which side they're on.

Nothing's simple anymore. It's all grey.

That's the only way to describe it really.

Grey.

Just… grey.

And that's what love is like.

Love is the greyest of all greys.

Love is… there are no sides in love, no simple answers, easy ways out.

You have to fight, and keep fighting.

You can't give up or it'll eat you alive, rip you apart, consume you till there's nothing left. Not your soul, not your body, nothing.

But you don't know that. Not at the start, not for a long while.

At the start all you want to do is be together.

All you want is each other.

That's simple enough and it usually keeps things good and simple for quite a while.

If you can have it, that is.

But what about when you can't? What about when you can't be with each other, near each other?

What happens when all you want to do is hold each other, arms wrapped tight, fingers entwined, bodies close, breath warm… what happens when you can't have that? Any of it.

It's so hard.

So goddamn hard.

When you want nothing more than to be able to fall asleep in their arms, so close, so warm. Knowing that they're safe, that you're safe and that everything's okay, because…

Because you have each other.

Sometimes things aren't simple.

For some of us, things are _never _simple.

And we'd do just about anything to have just one minute, one single goddamn minute, where things go our way, where we get what we want just for once.

But you know what?

Life doesn't work like that! It just fucking doesn't!

It never has and it never will and it sucks!

It sucks so goddamn much that it's sometimes hard to believe.

And it hurts.

God, it hurts!

The pain, it's like an aching. A horrible aching inside you, like your stomach is being twisted and your heart is being stabbed and your lungs are being crushed and there's something in your throat that just won't move.

It's like there's no air in the room and the lack of it is making your brain go fuzzy and you can't think, no matter how hard you try.

That's what it's like. Being away from the one you love. Not being able to be with them even for a minute.

Pillows, soft toys, a picture, even your phone. Nothing helps, not when all you want is to hold them in your arms.

Believe me, I know.

It just… hurts.

I wish it didn't. I wish it'd all go away.

But it doesn't.

I've thought about trying to make it go away, but I couldn't do that. Not to her.

I know I couldn't bear it if she… if she even thought about…

No. I won't take the easy way out. It's not fair.

_Don't be such a wuss! Just do it, get it over with and don't be so goddamn weak anymore!_

But which way round is it really?

Giving up, giving in, is that really the strong, brave thing to do? Or is that just a way out for everyone who's given up?

I think it takes a lot to go on fighting. To keep struggling day after day, knowing that you're falling, spiralling outta control, not able to stop or even slow yourself down.

Knowing that no matter how much and how far you fall, there is always further to go.

I think if you can keep on going even after knowing all that, then that is the hard way.

I'm not strong. Not on my own anyway.

But with her, if I have her, I would keep on fighting forever.

Because that's what she'd do, what she'd want and I would, and will, do anything for her.

It hurts so much and it's so hard, but I can do it.

I have to do it.

All I want is her, to be with her.

But I gotta get there first. Work my way to her, one step at a time, inch by inch.

I'll get there. I have to.

I know it'll be worth it, when I'm with her, holding her…

I can do it but… I'm scared.

It's gonna be one hell of a long journey, lonely, scary…

But whatever else is waiting for me when I get there, it won't matter, because I know she'll be there waiting for me too and nothing else will matter.

Because I love her.

Completely.

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**Author Note: So.... what'd ya think?! Most likely gonna stay as a oneshot, but since i have a whole week to get through where i can't even speak to her, there may be more!! Anyway, i know i've neglected my other stories and i am so very sorry about that, i've been trying to get back to them, honest i have!! But it's the summer!! I have nothing to do for a little while now, so there may be a few updates coming your way =) In a bit guys **


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